When you have a lot on your mind, focusing can be difficult, especially at work. Maybe your company had a major layoff, and you’re wondering about the consequences. Or perhaps your thoughts keep replaying a situation at home. Whatever the…
When you have a lot on your mind, focusing can be difficult, especially at work. Maybe your company had a major layoff, and you’re wondering about the consequences. Or perhaps your thoughts keep replaying a situation at home.
Whatever the scenario, distracting thoughts can be tough to squash. Part of the problem: The more we try to stop our thoughts, the more persistent and disruptive they can become.
To effectively deal with distracting thoughts, we need to change our relationship to them, says Chad LeJeune, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and author of the books “The Worry Trap” and “ ‘Pure O’ OCD.” “Thoughts are only a distraction if you decide that you should not be having them and view them as a burden or an obstacle,” he says.
Instead, invite your thoughts in, he says, and see them as another part of your experience. Based on acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), this practice focuses on accepting your thoughts and emotions, and living life according to your values. To guide you, LeJeune shares a five-step process to help you take control of your distracting thoughts.
Often thoughts run rampant in our minds without us even realizing that the spiral is happening. Start by labeling the thought. For example, if your mind keeps returning to a recent layoff at work, your thought might be “Maybe I’m going to lose my job.”
According to LeJeune, you might tell yourself: “This thought is an alarm bell warning me about something that may or may not happen.”
The next step is to relinquish the struggle. “Instead of pushing the thoughts away, take a deep breath and notice exactly what the thought has to say to you,” LeJeune says. “Then thank your anxious mind for offering you this thought, and for trying to take care of you.”
Now, recognize that your thought is merely a thought versus an event that is undoubtedly going to happen. Depending on your workspace, you might jot down a short phrase that reflects the thought on a post-it note and stick it on the wall. “Writing the thought and posting it helps you to look at the thought, rather than through it,” LeJeune says.
Can’t jot it down? Sing the thought in your mind, or tell yourself “I’m having the thought that…”
After noticing your thoughts, take in your surroundings. “Bringing more content to your awareness makes the thought a smaller part of your total experience,” LeJeune says.
For example, you might ask yourself: What do I hear when I close my eyes? What do I observe when I’m aware of my body? For another option, tune into your environment with all your senses.
Lastly, connect with exactly what you wish to accomplish at this moment, LeJeune says. Focus on the task at hand, even while your anxious thoughts chatter in the background, and think about the values that underlie your tasks.
For example, maybe you’re responding to a customer email, which may cultivate the value of connection. Or perhaps you’re preparing for an upcoming presentation, which may foster the value of curiosity.
Remember, LeJeune says: “Distracting thoughts are the unruly passengers in your vehicle, but you are the one behind the wheel. Where do you want to go?”
Note: If you’re having extremely disruptive or potentially harmful thoughts, check with your doctor or EAP.
