3 Fears About Public Speaking, and How to Move Past Them

At some point, you’re going to be asked to stand up in front of a group of people and say a few words. For some of you, this will feel like a thrilling challenge. For others, it will be more like a living nightmare.

But no matter how you feel, any and every time you get the chance to speak publicly presents a powerful opportunity to contribute and grow, personally and professionally.

Full admission: I’m a professional speaker, so I choose to do this more than most. You might assume that means I don’t understand your fears. Not true. I also train other people to speak, so I’ve thought about those fears a lot. And I’ve seen people—regardless of title, industry, or astrological sign—get hamstrung by the same fears around public speaking over and over again.

Many of those fears are rooted in a fixed mindset, the belief that you’re born with certain traits that can’t be changed. But you can start to shift to a growth mindset—one that understands abilities can be developed.

So let’s unpack some of those fears. Here are three mindsets that commonly hold people back and ideas for shifting how you think.

Mindset #1: “I’m not a speaker.”

Newsflash: You actually are a speaker. You speak all day. You speak to groups of friends, colleagues, even strangers. You’ve asked questions in meetings. You’ve advocated for your child or a friend. In other words, you have a lot of experience.

The fanfare and formality around giving a “talk,” whether in a conference room or a room with theater seating, can be unnerving. The mere presence of a podium can call your self-worth into question. But you know what a podium is? A piece of furniture. It doesn’t dictate what you’re capable of, and you don’t have to be at a podium to contribute as a speaker.

The shift: What if you view speaking as a skill, not a trait? Instead of embracing the fixed mindset of you’re not a speaker, think of it as a skill you already have and can apply in a range of situations.

Speakers aren’t people with special degrees or DNA. Speaking is a skill you can build on and improve. There’s no reason why you, with your own combination of perspective and insights, shouldn’t share your ideas.

Mindset #2: “I don’t have anything to say.”

Have you ever canceled dinner plans with a friend because you worried you’d run out of things to say? Of course not. What’s at work here is the belief that to speak in front of others, you must say something completely original and totally flawless. Anything short of that means you’re not worth listening to.

The shift: What if you thought of public speaking as simply part of a conversation? The fixed mindset sees a talk as something finite. But speaking publicly is a form of participation and contribution in public discourse. And no one, not even people paid to speak, delivers a perfect job every time. Because perfect is not the point.

Whether it’s a 30-minute keynote or 5-minute update at the all-hands meeting, let’s reframe public speaking for what it is: A single piece of dialogue that you’re contributing to a larger, evolving conversation. In any conversation, there are times when you listen and others when you speak. If you’ve been doing a lot of listening, it may be your turn to share insights so that others can learn and benefit from them.

Mindset #3: “I don’t want it to be about me.”

You may feel anxious at the idea of being in the spotlight. You also may believe, deep down, that to speak publicly sends an unflattering message about you. “People who speak up are desperate for attention,” or “People who speak think they’re smarter than everyone else.”

This is what meQ calls an Iceberg Belief, an often wrongheaded idea that looms large beneath the surface of our consciousness. Somewhere along the line, you got the message that you should be quiet and let “smarter” people speak, or that to speak is to be “aggressive.” These are encultured beliefs, but that doesn’t mean they’re true.

The shift: What if it wasn’t about you at all? Because I have news for you: It’s not. When you’re being watched, you tend to become more aware of what you’re doing. But the audience is listening to your words: The message is their focus, not you.

I had a breakthrough when I realized the audience cared much more about what I was saying than me, and that my hair, my outfit, and my resume barely registered on their radar. This can free you up to focus on your message. And when you allow yourself to become energized around the message, you come off as a lot more confident.

In this day and age, it’s more important than ever that we not just find our voices, but  that we use them. Speaking is not about dominating the room or other people; it’s about ensuring that a diversity of voices are heard, including yours. Every time you garner the courage to speak up, you’re not only sharing something tremendously valuable, you’re encouraging someone else to do it, too.