How can we render ourselves more resilient before, during, and after trauma?

Though it’s hard to picture now, the catastrophic, heartbreaking L.A. fires will eventually be contained, and the enormous task of rebuilding will begin. But how do we rebuild our lives?  How can we get through something this traumatic?

Many people directly impacted—those who have lost so much—will almost certainly contend with post-traumatic stress. My prayers go out to them.

It’s also true that as a collective nation and globe, such events impact all of us, and they are hitting faster, harder, more often, and with less predictability. For a long time, we could comprehend that there would be seasonal mudslides or mountain fires in California, for example. Or that Florida has a regular hurricane season. But now we’re witnessing fires in Malibu. And the town of Asheville, NC, 300 miles from any coast, was destroyed by Hurricane Helene.

But it’s not only the fact of more disasters that messes with the human mind. It’s the uncontrollability and unpredictability.

It’s the sense of powerlessness in the face of capricious world events, whether they be made by nature or humans: the Covid pandemic; the wars in the Middle East and Ukraine; or the economy, robbing us us of any job security at work.

Knowing unpredictable, uncontrollable disasters affect all of us, and that all we know for sure is that more large-scale disruption is probably on the way, the question gets even more urgent:

How can we render ourselves more resilient before, during, and after such trauma?

The process requires four steps.

Examine Our Core Beliefs

We need to scrutinize the big beliefs we’ve developed about the world and our place in it.  These are beliefs like “good things happen to good people and bad things to bad,” or “the more control I get the better my life will be,” or “my hard work has earned me a trouble-free life.”

Such beliefs may help us see life as more rational or palatable—but they will let us down in the end. Our unpredictable, uncontrollable reality does not obey these beliefs. Good things do happen to bad people, and bad things do happen to good people. Control does not guarantee a better life. Trouble can occur whether one has worked hard or not.

To become more resilient, we need to bring these big beliefs to the light, so we can assess how well they’re helping us cope with reality and emerge from difficult events.

 

Build Self-Efficacy

We need to mindfully build our self-efficacy. This means looking back at times when we prevailed and consciously putting those memories and strategies in a toolbox for future use. Learning what we did well and what wisdom we gained during times of adversity will give us the ability to fare even better through the next challenge we face.

 

Connect to Meaningful Shared Values.

When we’re connected to a greater life meaning than just ourselves, we have a broader sense of what’s truly important. We are better able to determine, even in crisis, what is a mountain and what is a molehill, and we can break mountains down into molehills. We tend to find community with other people who share our positive values, too. We feel connected to a long line of others who’ve helped contribute to what we care about. Decades of research show that those with this level of connection feel more confident and secure about their lives, even in the face of adversity.

Connecting to meaningful shared values requires two adjustments in our point of view. First, we need to invert our sense of entitlement.  Instead of asking “Why me?” in the face of adversity, ask ourselves, “Why not me?” Second, we need to map our genuine sphere of influence. Some things are going to come from nowhere with the potential to upend our lives. This is simply the truth of life, and we are better prepared when we accept it.

 

Build on the Universal.

We can also build on the universal. The love we share above material possessions. A sense of community, that we’re all in this together, when times are dark. Our capacity to reach out and help each other, in even the most dire of circumstances.

The year ahead will challenge us to build on our strengths while facing massive uncertainty. We have the science of resilience at our fingertips to empower ourselves, our managers, and our leaders to recover from trauma and come out stronger than we were before. Together, we can do this.

About the Author
Andrew Shatté

Dr. Shatté is a heralded speaker, consultant, research professor and author at the vanguard of resilience training and education. After receiving undergraduate degrees in Pyschology and Philosophy, he completed his Ph.D. in Psychology at University of Pennsylvania where he worked on the first programs in positive psychology. Since, Dr. Shatté has trained tens of thousands of professionals to build their resilience and coping skills, with demonstrated long term success in productivity and performance. He is the Chief Science Officer and Co-founder of meQuilibrium.